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  • Writer's pictureDanny Zane

What to do when you realise your caregiver is a narcissist

Discovering that your caregiver is a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally taxing realisation. It's essential to prioritise your well-being and decide how to handle this situation. Here are some steps you can consider:

  1. Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissism and it's traits to better understand the behaviour you've observed. Knowledge can empower you to navigate the situation more effectively.

  2. Self-Care: Prioritise your own emotional and mental well-being. Narcissistic caregivers can be manipulative, so it's crucial to maintain your own emotional stability.

  3. Seek Support: Confide in trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. Talking to someone you trust can provide emotional support and valuable perspective.

  4. Set Boundaries: Establish and enforce boundaries to protect yourself from manipulation or emotional abuse. Make it clear what behaviours are unacceptable and communicate your needs assertively.

  5. Focus on Your Needs: Recognise that you deserve love, care, and respect. Ensure you prioritise your own physical and emotional needs including the time and space for therapy.

  6. Limit Contact: If possible, limit your contact with the narcissistic caregiver. This can help reduce stress and minimise their negative impact on your life.

  7. Seek Professional Help: If the situation becomes unbearable or escalates, consider seeking help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in narcissistic personality disorder or dealing with toxic relationships.

  8. Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that the narcissistic behaviour of your caregiver is not your fault. Practice self-compassion and self-love to boost your self-esteem.

  9. Build a Support Network: Strengthen your relationships with other supportive individuals in your life. Having a strong support network can provide you with the emotional support you need.

  10. Consider Legal and Financial Advice: In some cases, narcissistic caregivers may try to control your finances or exert legal influence. Seek legal and financial advice if necessary to protect your interests.

  11. Understand Your Options: Depending on your age and circumstances, you might explore options like moving out, seeking custody of any dependent siblings, or involving authorities if there is abuse involved.

  12. Patience and Persistence: Dealing with a narcissistic caregiver can be a long and difficult process. Be patient with yourself and persistent in seeking solutions.

Remember that it can be challenging to change a narcissistic caregiver, and sometimes the best course of action may involve distancing yourself for your own well-being. Your mental and emotional health should always be a priority, and seeking professional guidance can be invaluable in managing this complex situation.

I am in no way an expert on narcissists or narcissism. Having had one very close to me for most of my life I have a vast wealth of personal experience and understanding. If you are an individual who needs help in this area, I will listen and hear you in a kind warm and nonjudgemental manner. Together we can move forwards and make a better more grounded plan for a life in which you can take control of all you need to whilst establishing appropriate boundaries.

You can see me at my Harley Street therapy practice, or in Finchley Central and online. I do also offer home visits for your therapy and counselling.


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