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  • Writer's pictureDanny Zane

The Psychological Impacts of being Gaslit and what you can do

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic that involves making someone doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and reality. This insidious form of emotional abuse can have profound and long-lasting effects on the victim's mental health and well-being.


Here we will delve into the various psychological impacts of being gaslit, shedding light on the ways in which it can erode a person's self-esteem, self-worth, and overall mental health.


Understanding Gaslighting

To comprehend the psychological impacts of gaslighting, it's essential to first understand what gaslighting is and how it operates. The term "gaslighting" originated from a 1938 play and its subsequent film adaptation, titled "Gas Light," in which a husband manipulates his wife into questioning her sanity by dimming the gas lights and then denying that he did so.


Gaslighting involves several key elements:


Denial and Contradiction: The gaslighter consistently denies their actions or statements, even when there's clear evidence to the contrary. They may also contradict themselves, causing confusion.


Withholding Information: Gaslighters often withhold crucial information to keep the victim in the dark and maintain control over the situation.


Projection: Gaslighters project their own negative qualities, actions, or feelings onto the victim, making the victim feel responsible for the gaslighter's behaviour.


Trivialising and Minimising: They downplay the victim's concerns, emotions, or experiences, making them feel insignificant or overly sensitive.


Isolation: Gaslighters may isolate their victims from friends and family, creating dependence on the gaslighter for validation and support.


Hopefully this provides you a clear understanding of gaslighting, let's explore its profound psychological impacts:


Erosion of Self-Esteem

One of the most significant psychological impacts of gaslighting is the erosion of self-esteem. Gaslighters systematically undermine the victim's confidence in their own judgment and worth. They do this by constantly invalidating the victim's feelings and experiences, making them doubt their perceptions of reality.


Constant Self-Doubt: Gaslighting can lead to a persistent state of self-doubt, where victims second-guess their thoughts, feelings, and decisions. This self-doubt can extend beyond the gaslighting relationship, affecting various aspects of the victim's life.


Low Self-Worth: Victims often internalise the gaslighter's messages that they are wrong, crazy, or unworthy. This can result in a diminished sense of self-worth and self-value.


Dependency: Gaslighters often create a dynamic where victims become increasingly dependent on them for validation and approval. This dependency further erodes the victim's self-esteem.


Emotional Distress

Gaslighting can trigger a range of emotional distress and mental health issues in victims. The constant manipulation and emotional turmoil can have a significant impact on their overall well-being.


Anxiety: Victims of gaslighting often experience heightened anxiety as they are constantly on edge, anticipating the next manipulation or invalidation. This chronic stress can lead to physical health issues over time.


Depression: Gaslighting can contribute to feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and despair. Victims may struggle with depression as a result of the ongoing emotional abuse.


PTSD Symptoms: In severe cases, gaslighting can lead to symptoms akin to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Victims may experience flashbacks, nightmares, and hypervigilance, even after escaping the gaslighting relationship.


Isolation and Social Withdrawal

Gaslighters often isolate their victims from friends and family, making them more susceptible to the manipulation. This isolation can have significant psychological consequences:


Loss of Support: Victims may lose their support system, making it even harder to break free from the gaslighting relationship.


Loneliness: Isolation can lead to intense feelings of loneliness and isolation, exacerbating emotional distress.


Self-Imposed Isolation: Even after escaping a gaslighting relationship, victims may continue to isolate themselves due to lingering self-doubt and fear of judgment.


Impaired Decision-Making

Gaslighting can impair a person's ability to make sound decisions. The constant invalidation and manipulation can leave victims feeling incapable of trusting their own judgment.


Indecision: Victims may become indecisive and overly reliant on others to make choices for them, as they fear making the wrong decision.


Difficulty Setting Boundaries: Gaslighting can make it challenging for victims to establish and enforce healthy boundaries, both in personal relationships and other areas of life.


Impaired Critical Thinking: The erosion of self-esteem and self-worth can lead to impaired critical thinking, making it difficult for victims to assess situations objectively.


Self-Blame and Guilt

Gaslighters often employ guilt-tripping and blame-shifting tactics, making the victim feel responsible for the gaslighter's behaviour. This can have profound psychological effects:


Self-Blame: Victims may internalise the gaslighter's blame, believing that they are the cause of the problems in the relationship.


Guilt: Gaslighting victims often carry an overwhelming sense of guilt, even when they are not at fault. This guilt can manifest as shame and self-reproach.


Difficulty Trusting Others: The experience of being constantly blamed and made to feel guilty can lead to difficulties trusting others in future relationships.


Recovery and Healing

Recovery from gaslighting can be a challenging and lengthy process, but it is possible. Here are some essential steps for healing:

  1. Recognise the Abuse: The first step is acknowledging that you are a victim of gaslighting. This recognition can be difficult but is crucial for recovery.

  2. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist and counsellor who can provide emotional support and validation.

  3. Set Boundaries: Learn to establish and enforce healthy boundaries in your relationships to prevent future gaslighting.

  4. Rebuild Self-Esteem: Work on rebuilding your self-esteem and self-worth through self-compassion and self-care practices.

  5. Therapy: Consider therapy or counselling to address the emotional trauma and develop coping strategies.

  6. Education: Educate yourself about gaslighting and emotional abuse to better protect yourself in the future.


The psychological and physiological impacts of gaslighting are profound and pervasive. Victims of gaslighting often suffer from erosion of self-esteem, emotional distress, social isolation, impaired decision-making, and feelings of self-blame and guilt. Recognising gaslighting as a form of emotional abuse is the first step toward healing and recovery. With the right support and self-care strategies, survivors can regain their sense of self-worth, rebuild their lives, and move forward toward a healthier and happier future.


Remove yourself from the relationship and seek help and support.

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